My foremost thought on The Awakening is that I greatly appreciate a writer who can introduce such duality into character development. I can only hope to write a character so well, to have people hate her so much, that they give the entire work a one-star review on Goodreads. What an honor!
This is a well-written story about a twenty-seven year old wife and mother who, after spending a summer in the sun, finds that she has been inactive her whole life, going through the paces, and does not care for her husband or children. How she deals with this is the crux of the thing.
The protagonist, Edna, received both my sympathy and disgust as she lamented her situation, tried to do something about it, and went too far in the eyes of most. It is clear that Edna never wanted the life that she ended up with, letting it all simply happen, but when she has her big "awakening," she still possesses a lack of forethought, as many other characters allude to. Edna is, to her folly, an in-the-moment, how-I-feel-right-now, sort of person, leading to unfortunate decisions (I don't know that they can even be called decisions, because she does very little without thinking at all, and she was never able to overcome this).
Rather than a feminist commentary, I view this as a study of the id, and of what happens when you focus too much on the needs and wants of here-and-now...what happens when you fail to view yourself, the world, and even time as a bigger and more complex whole than what is happening "right now". I don't believe we were meant to have a deep love for Edna, but rather to understand her as she realizes she wants more, and then shake our heads at her as we realize we are (hopefully) not much like her at all, she who lacks all thought and consideration beyond the immediate.
I tried to read this in the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years of high school. It was impossible! I got twenty pages in and threw it down, changing my summer assignment to include Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, which was just weird enough to interest me. Now that I am in my twenties and newly married, have wonderful husband, a great job, and loads of time to write and think in addition to all that, I am in a supremely happy and introspective time of my life. As a result, I was finally able to read this book and see its merits. I suspect that having read this will help me to remain in constant survey of how I feel about myself, my life, and my choices. And they are that; they are choices, well thought out, taken with great care and consideration. I will never be like Edna, but I understood her, and that will keep me from ever becoming like her.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Monday, July 8, 2013
Jamming, Sweating, Plotting
What's that? Sweat? Wouldn't it get the pages wrinkly, or ruin the device?
Where I live in Colorado Springs is a particularly fruitful location. Our house is at the bottom of a small hill, atop of which is a park. My husband plotted out a 2 mile walking path several months ago, and that's the route I take, which follows a trail through that park, and the tiny one adjacent to it. I don't know that I would even call them parks. Rather, they are more like extended trail space.
For me, movement equals brain function. More precisely, walking helps me with plot points. With the right song, enough leg movement, and plenty of zoning out, scenes start to appear in my head. I also discovered a side benefit to this, which is that I get a little more tan every time. Can't beat working on three things at once, only one of which uses dedicated brain power. Throughout our trail, there are also benches with perfect views of the mountains, great for sitting for a spell and jotting down notes.
Lately, with all the projects swirling in my mind, I've been thinking I may need to plot out a longer walking path, more like 5 miles. It seems like I'm home too soon, my thinking not quite complete, but my skin is red enough, and my water gone. Clearly I need better sunscreen and a bigger bottle.
As for the music I'm listening to, every project I'm working on has a particular song from the Deftones that inspires me. These songs have the feel and tone that I'm looking for in my writing: "Tempest," "Beware," and "Change (In the House of Flies)".
Anyway, I'm red and sweaty, so I'll call this one done and move on to writing fiction!
Where I live in Colorado Springs is a particularly fruitful location. Our house is at the bottom of a small hill, atop of which is a park. My husband plotted out a 2 mile walking path several months ago, and that's the route I take, which follows a trail through that park, and the tiny one adjacent to it. I don't know that I would even call them parks. Rather, they are more like extended trail space.
For me, movement equals brain function. More precisely, walking helps me with plot points. With the right song, enough leg movement, and plenty of zoning out, scenes start to appear in my head. I also discovered a side benefit to this, which is that I get a little more tan every time. Can't beat working on three things at once, only one of which uses dedicated brain power. Throughout our trail, there are also benches with perfect views of the mountains, great for sitting for a spell and jotting down notes.
Lately, with all the projects swirling in my mind, I've been thinking I may need to plot out a longer walking path, more like 5 miles. It seems like I'm home too soon, my thinking not quite complete, but my skin is red enough, and my water gone. Clearly I need better sunscreen and a bigger bottle.
As for the music I'm listening to, every project I'm working on has a particular song from the Deftones that inspires me. These songs have the feel and tone that I'm looking for in my writing: "Tempest," "Beware," and "Change (In the House of Flies)".
Anyway, I'm red and sweaty, so I'll call this one done and move on to writing fiction!
Marriage Life: Does It Feel Different?
Everyone asks this. Everyone has a different answer. My short answer? Yes! But I did not expect to feel any different, and am actually surprised that anything is different at all. Below is my long answer.
The Backstory
My husband and I were peers, and then friends, and then dated throughout our college careers. We have lived alone together for a few years. He even made sure I remembered to eat while I wrote my undergrad thesis and was on a power nap schedule. Together, we made a cross-country move. Before that we sort of lived with some of my coolest relatives for a time, and after that we lived with his awesome mom for a while.
We have done a lot of things together that I never thought I could do with the same person and not be driven crazy. For example, we have driven that cross-country trek together many times. What I really mean is...being in a car with someone for 20+ hours is hard. Doing it over and over, doing it with an upset cat, hauling a load of things that, before and after, we questioned were necessary...that changes a person! But finding out you love that person even more each time? His voluntarily downloading Harry Potter on audio (for me, the HP-obsessed) and finding that he likes it? Priceless.
Why the change?
We went through the stress of the engagement and wedding together, with no one else to physically lean on, since we live away from all our combined family. Let me say that our families were only a phone call away, and our parents, wedding party, and other equally important relatives and friends were extremely supportive and active to the point of nervous breakdown in some (perhaps many) cases. We thank them ALL, because literally nothing could have happened without them. Still, there is nothing so supportive as coming home to someone who sees the best in you, accepts the worst in you, pushes you to do better just for yourself, and gives really great back scratches. They are amazing, no joke.
During our engagement, we dutifully went through a list of hot-topic items, making sure we covered those important topics before we made the jump into marriage. Admittedly, this would have been best done before engagement, but ultimately it didn't matter much for us, because we really knew what our respective answers to those topics would be, from kids, to finances, to career goals, even if they didn't necessarily mesh up perfectly at first. By doing this, we made sure we were right for each other as our engagement and wedding took shape, not letting the engagement be the end of relationship growth, and actively being each other's ally in the wedding planning. Two months ago, the wedding came, and we proclaimed our love and commitment to each other in front of the family and friends we love most, even seriously kissed in front of them! That was a big deal to me. I'm not a huge fan of PDA, and neither is my husband.
How have things changed?
We just try harder. I think we were doing this before the engagement, but once the engagement happened, we sidetracked a little, having so much to think about as far planning, and I admit that I occasionally forgot about everyday things. Now it seems like we are extra committed to living our days to the fullest, even if that means each of us going out of our way to clean something better, cook something nicer, and, uh, have sexier sexy time. Clearly we're in a honeymoon phase. We have only been married two months, and haven't gone on any true honeymoon, but we plan on making this phase last as long as possible, preferably forever.
One thing I will note is that some people have tried to make me feel bad about this, like nothing should change after the start of a marriage if you had such a great relationship to begin with. I don't agree with that in our case. I think relationships are different for everyone, and for me, for us, I think we needed to feel that something was different. Not a huge change, but a little something to make us feel like we are truly together in this life, and for the rest of it...
...even if it was just relief that the wedding was over, and the real fun could begin!
The Backstory
My husband and I were peers, and then friends, and then dated throughout our college careers. We have lived alone together for a few years. He even made sure I remembered to eat while I wrote my undergrad thesis and was on a power nap schedule. Together, we made a cross-country move. Before that we sort of lived with some of my coolest relatives for a time, and after that we lived with his awesome mom for a while.
We have done a lot of things together that I never thought I could do with the same person and not be driven crazy. For example, we have driven that cross-country trek together many times. What I really mean is...being in a car with someone for 20+ hours is hard. Doing it over and over, doing it with an upset cat, hauling a load of things that, before and after, we questioned were necessary...that changes a person! But finding out you love that person even more each time? His voluntarily downloading Harry Potter on audio (for me, the HP-obsessed) and finding that he likes it? Priceless.
Why the change?
We went through the stress of the engagement and wedding together, with no one else to physically lean on, since we live away from all our combined family. Let me say that our families were only a phone call away, and our parents, wedding party, and other equally important relatives and friends were extremely supportive and active to the point of nervous breakdown in some (perhaps many) cases. We thank them ALL, because literally nothing could have happened without them. Still, there is nothing so supportive as coming home to someone who sees the best in you, accepts the worst in you, pushes you to do better just for yourself, and gives really great back scratches. They are amazing, no joke.
During our engagement, we dutifully went through a list of hot-topic items, making sure we covered those important topics before we made the jump into marriage. Admittedly, this would have been best done before engagement, but ultimately it didn't matter much for us, because we really knew what our respective answers to those topics would be, from kids, to finances, to career goals, even if they didn't necessarily mesh up perfectly at first. By doing this, we made sure we were right for each other as our engagement and wedding took shape, not letting the engagement be the end of relationship growth, and actively being each other's ally in the wedding planning. Two months ago, the wedding came, and we proclaimed our love and commitment to each other in front of the family and friends we love most, even seriously kissed in front of them! That was a big deal to me. I'm not a huge fan of PDA, and neither is my husband.
How have things changed?
We just try harder. I think we were doing this before the engagement, but once the engagement happened, we sidetracked a little, having so much to think about as far planning, and I admit that I occasionally forgot about everyday things. Now it seems like we are extra committed to living our days to the fullest, even if that means each of us going out of our way to clean something better, cook something nicer, and, uh, have sexier sexy time. Clearly we're in a honeymoon phase. We have only been married two months, and haven't gone on any true honeymoon, but we plan on making this phase last as long as possible, preferably forever.
One thing I will note is that some people have tried to make me feel bad about this, like nothing should change after the start of a marriage if you had such a great relationship to begin with. I don't agree with that in our case. I think relationships are different for everyone, and for me, for us, I think we needed to feel that something was different. Not a huge change, but a little something to make us feel like we are truly together in this life, and for the rest of it...
...even if it was just relief that the wedding was over, and the real fun could begin!
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