Everyone asks this. Everyone has a different answer. My short answer? Yes! But I did not expect to feel any different, and am actually surprised that anything is different at all. Below is my long answer.
The Backstory
My husband and I were peers, and then friends, and then dated throughout our college careers. We have lived alone together for a few years. He even made sure I remembered to eat while I wrote my undergrad thesis and was on a power nap schedule. Together, we made a cross-country move. Before that we sort of lived with some of my coolest relatives for a time, and after that we lived with his awesome mom for a while.
We have done a lot of things together that I never thought I could do with the same person and not be driven crazy. For example, we have driven that cross-country trek together many times. What I really mean is...being in a car with someone for 20+ hours is hard. Doing it over and over, doing it with an upset cat, hauling a load of things that, before and after, we questioned were necessary...that changes a person! But finding out you love that person even more each time? His voluntarily downloading Harry Potter on audio (for me, the HP-obsessed) and finding that he likes it? Priceless.
Why the change?
We went through the stress of the engagement and wedding together, with no one else to physically lean on, since we live away from all our combined family. Let me say that our families were only a phone call away, and our parents, wedding party, and other equally important relatives and friends were extremely supportive and active to the point of nervous breakdown in some (perhaps many) cases. We thank them ALL, because literally nothing could have happened without them. Still, there is nothing so supportive as coming home to someone who sees the best in you, accepts the worst in you, pushes you to do better just for yourself, and gives really great back scratches. They are amazing, no joke.
During our engagement, we dutifully went through a list of hot-topic items, making sure we covered those important topics before we made the jump into marriage. Admittedly, this would have been best done before engagement, but ultimately it didn't matter much for us, because we really knew what our respective answers to those topics would be, from kids, to finances, to career goals, even if they didn't necessarily mesh up perfectly at first. By doing this, we made sure we were right for each other as our engagement and wedding took shape, not letting the engagement be the end of relationship growth, and actively being each other's ally in the wedding planning. Two months ago, the wedding came, and we proclaimed our love and commitment to each other in front of the family and friends we love most, even seriously kissed in front of them! That was a big deal to me. I'm not a huge fan of PDA, and neither is my husband.
How have things changed?
We just try harder. I think we were doing this before the engagement, but once the engagement happened, we sidetracked a little, having so much to think about as far planning, and I admit that I occasionally forgot about everyday things. Now it seems like we are extra committed to living our days to the fullest, even if that means each of us going out of our way to clean something better, cook something nicer, and, uh, have sexier sexy time. Clearly we're in a honeymoon phase. We have only been married two months, and haven't gone on any true honeymoon, but we plan on making this phase last as long as possible, preferably forever.
One thing I will note is that some people have tried to make me feel bad about this, like nothing should change after the start of a marriage if you had such a great relationship to begin with. I don't agree with that in our case. I think relationships are different for everyone, and for me, for us, I think we needed to feel that something was different. Not a huge change, but a little something to make us feel like we are truly together in this life, and for the rest of it...
...even if it was just relief that the wedding was over, and the real fun could begin!
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